COMICS INVADE WEST COAST

UnionPressKC.com Presents "North Bound & West" Comedy run.  Three comics, one car and 3,000 miles.  Sandro Iocolano, Johnny Skourtis and Jon Schieszer pile into a rental and tare up the Pacific Coast and are headed to your city. 

 

Monday June 12th  Palm Lounge (Eureka Inn) 7pm  - Eureka,CA 

Tuesday June 13th  MERC Theater -TWISP,WA 7pm   TICKETS

Wednesday June 14th   Ambassador Winery 8pm  -  Woodinville,WA         

Thursday  June 15h   Tony V's 8pm - Everett,WA

Friday June 16th  The Old Warehouse 8pm - Zillah,WA 

Saturday June 17th  Johnny B's  8pm - Medford, OR 

Sunday June 18th   The District Theater  7pm- Gilroy,CA  

 

Hello, World!

 

 

NEW TWIN CITIES DISCOVERED!! KANSAS CITY KS,MO

Minneapolis and St.Paul residents woke up Sunday morning shocked to find that they no longer lived in the "Twin Cities".  Both Kansas City, Kansas and Kansas City, Missouri teamed up to declare themselves the new official "Twin Cities".  Many wondered how this could even be possible until you realize both cities share the EXACT SAME NAME, thus making them identical.  As you can clearly see in the map below, the word "Kansas City" appears twice.

 

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Laugh Prints felt it necessary to help spread the good work around the world to make sure there is no confusion moving forward.  We decided we'd release the "Real Twin Cities" shirt which is now available for people everywhere as well as the old "Twin Cities" (they can help get the word out)  

Click Here For Ordering Details 

Click Here For Ordering Details 

Worst People Found On Black Friday

Not surprising to you that the most annoying person in your life woke up at five A.M. to save 50% on a iPhone that they already own.   You can't beat the savings, but you can't beat the beatings.  Some of these people obviously have NFL type athletic ability.  Here's a little holiday gift from Laugh Prints to you.  Thanks for gifting to others too. 

@LaughPrints suck'a 

Millions of Millennials w/out Cell phones after Parents cut them off

Households have always been divided by politics but it's reached a whole new level after this past Nov 8th election.  With Trumps "upset" victory (according to news outlets) many parents of millennials rejoiced after listening to months of Hillary backing from their still living at home, 26 year old kids.    When they  took to the streets to protest Trump's victory many parents said "enough is enough".   "I simply put it this way. If you're able to go walk around downtown blocking traffic for eight hours then you've got time to start paying your own cell phone bill.  We'll see how much live streaming from the streets and protest posts there'll be with no cell phone. " said one smiling parent in Chicago.   Verizon and Sprint had nearly 1,000,000 combined cell numbers removed from family phone plans over the past ten days.  "I'm guessing it's just  the parents way of reminding their adult children that they don't have their shit together.  I was kinda shocked at how many adults are on their parents phone plan. I wasn't shocked at the joy in the voices of those parents canceling phone plans" said one cell phone rep who asked not to be identified.  


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Most parents are just happy to be relieved of the extra hundred dollar a month payment. "First she took all my old vinyl albums, took all my old clothes from the early 90's and we've been paying her cell phone since 2008. It feels like we've given enough, especially because she's STILL living in our basement" said one mother of her 24 year old daughter.   There's no love lost between these families just a lot more spending money for parents and grandparents all across America. 

 

Steelers fan goes Big Lebowski on TV after last second loss to Cowboys

Do you see what happens Steelers, when you screw over your die hards?   They go ape shit crazy and destroy thousands of dollars worth of flat screens.  We all have a few misunderstood  "Walter Sobchalk" moments in your lives, just remember that TV's cost money and without them your life is meaningless and unfulfilled so don't break them.  Just take a few deep breaths Steeler fan and remember, it could be a lot worse, you could live in Youngstown, OH.  Just sit back down and relax, realize there will be a next week and then finish the last three beers of that twelve pack.  

@LaughPrints

Santa Barbara H.S. students protest Trump, forced to walk home to 1.1 million dollar homes.

Hundreds of angry High School students in quiet seaside town of Santa Barbara (Home to famous people, like Oprah) stormed out of school on wednesday afternoon in protest of the newly elected president.  One student, a Junior said "I mean, that's whats wrong with this country, Trump got elected, I mean so what if he won the electoral college thingy or whatever, like, that's bullshit man.  This is America, we have rights, you have rights, that's why we're walking out...for rights"   With that being said the mob made its way across the street a few blocks and stopped at the  local Chipotle.   Many of the protesters were left stuck at the Chipotle as there were only seven UBER drivers available to take more than 300 students home.  Many of the students were unable to reach their mothers for a ride due to the large Bikram yoga camp that wasn't letting out for another hour.   As a last ditch effort at least a hundred or so teens made their way back home on foot to their Santa Barbara median average 1.1 million dollar homes.  "It was awful,  I was so hungry I ended up eating a hamburger, with the bun and it wasn't even my cheat day" quoting one male student.  

@LaughPrints

Trump Excuse Used To Rid Basketball Courts of Horrible "White Males" Nationwide

Apparently white males age 24-50 have been forced back to suburban civic centers and backyard basketball courts nationwide, at least that's what they think.   The past few days have been lonely for thousands of out of shape white guys playing basketball from coast to coast. "It's been kinda hard" said Steve Thomas of Louisville.


 

"I haven't been picked all day, just been sitting here.  The one time I did get picked yesterday they said 'I guess I'll take Trump dude'... I was the last pick".   Devastated Thomas said he'll be taking his game over to the local church tomorrow.  The other side of the conversation surprisingly had a different tone to it.  Interviewing some of the guys actually playing they had a different story. "Man, seriously, he said that?" was the reaction of one man. "Honestly, honestly, that dude sucks man (the group erupted in laughter), no serious.  I been playing with that guy for years, he's horrible.


 

 We weren't picking that guy last month to play, it has nothing to do with Donald Trump." When asked about the Trump comment from the day before they admitted to calling him Trump but it was only to "fuck with him".  "Seriously though, we haven't been picking that dude since W.(George W. Bush) was in office.  You remember Jon Koncak? , dudes probably one of the worst N.B.A. or W.N.B.A. players of all time to be real.  We used to call that Steve dude 'Koncak' every time he touched the ball, dribbling off his feet, passing the ball out of bounds, he's horrible" When clarifying that he was saying that Trump had nothing to do with Steve's benching he responded "Hell no, we've been trying to get get ride of that foul calling mother #&#&$ for years. He's always been a whiner"

@Sportsaholix

@LaughPrints